Wednesday, March 11, 2009

America & The Mechanic

Mechanic: Is America here?

America: Yea, right over here. How does it look.

Mechanic: Not good. Take a look at this.

America: What's that?

Mechanic: It's your AIG. Ya see, a normal AIG looks like this (points to a clean object). But this is your AIG, its dropping CDS's all over the place.

America: CDS's?

Mechanic: Yea. Credit Default Swaps, CDS's. They're everywhere. I recommend you take care of this immediately.

America: Ok, how much is that going to cost.

Mechanic: Normally, it would be $200 billion. But for you, we can do it for $180 billion.

America: Ok. I guess.

Mechanic: Now take a look at this. It's your Citi. You see this red color? It's normally supposed to be black. This is really bad. I don't even know if I can legally let you leave here without fixing it.

America: What's that going to run me?

Mechanic: I can get it done for you for $45 billion. Anywhere else, it would cost you at least $60.

America: Well, if I really need it.

Mechanic: We'd also like to put in a TARP?

America: A TARP! What's that.

Mechanic: It's complicated stuff. You would have to be a mechanic to understand.

America: Do I really need it

Mechanic: Yes, this is an emergency. If you don't put in one right now, your almost definitely going to crash on the way out of here. $700 billion should do the job.

America: But I only came in for a quick tune-up. Fine, but that's it, right?

Mechanic: Right, that's everything. But you should come back next month to make sure.

3 comments:

  1. Dfrank: will every post be in the form of a fake conversation?

    Dlaz: Quiet little man!

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  2. Thanks for already replying to your own comment. I think that's what I would have said back to you. But to answer your question, no it wont always be a conversation. That's just the way the post have come out. The first three had no conversaions

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  3. Interstng about how three banks are asking to give the bailout money back and there are 20 or so others that have verbally stated they might do the same. They calim the new restrictions make it too difficult to get the high priced talent needed to compete. Sounds to me like they are not in the dire straits they claimed to be. REGULATION CAN ACTUALLY WORK. Its funny if we nationlized the major banks even for a month or so we could look at the books and really know whats going on. Instead we have to guess.
    MC

    ReplyDelete