Hi. I'm DLaz, founder of Blog and Drinks and I'm appearing before you today to talk about an issue that is very near and dear to my heart: VCRs.
Everyday, on average, 1,137 VCRs in the US meet their untimely demise. And if we don't act quickly, the thought of a world without VCRs will become a reality. Its easy to turn a blind eye to this pandemic, so long as we can avoid putting a face to its victims. That is why I would like everyone to meet Timmy.
It was not long ago, that Timmy was a young and ambitious player who selfishly devoted his time to showing you the day's cinematic masterpieces. Fast forward, rewind, play, pause, reject. These were the commands he faithfully executed on your every beck and call. Now, he sits, discarded and homeless, wondering if his life was just some sort of cosmic joke. Constantly replaying the great moments he shared with you: Gasping at Jaws, laughing at Blazing Saddles, crying at Field of Dreams. Yes, he was there for all of them.
Maybe Timmy is a little dated. Maybe he supports a technology that is nearly obsolete. Maybe he is impossible to program. But doesn't he deserve the same opportunities that vastly superior technologies like DVD players and Blu-Ray players currently enjoy? Well, now you can see to it, that Timmy does. For as little as $1.17 a day, less than the cost of your morning coffee, you can help VCRs like Timmy find loving and caring homes. Our operators are standing by to take your calls. So please grab your credit card and call 1-800-VCR-SAVE, and you can begin saving the VCRs today.
Posts
No love for Betamax?
ReplyDeleteBetamax is for losers.
ReplyDeleteTypical New Yorker column - the writer is so amused by his own ability to write, that he doesn't care what he is writing about...
ReplyDeleteLet's just say that Timmy's love for VCRs is analagous to the writers desire to cling to his current skillset, and as more change happens, then the writers skills become more obsolete...
Now that's something to write about!!
you sound like my hippie parents complaining about vinyl
ReplyDeleteDmonee,
ReplyDeleteThen I accomplished my goal with this article.
Like The Simpsons, our original family VCR will always hold a special place in my heart. Oh, how I remember my uncle bringing you to our house. Your silver casing radiated like Sarah Palin's smile. The way your cassette door flew open and almost blew a hole in the shelf above was always exciting. The 30ft, plug-in remote....stretching just long enough across the family room to potentially trip an unsuspecting pedestrian. Countless showings of Rocky, Dr. Detroit, Timebandits and the Goonies.
ReplyDeleteHow I miss thee.